Sensitivity

I've had three weeks of my office job so I've been painting pretty much non stop. I've been doing 4 day bouts at the studio in Melbourne and mostly it's been great. I'm relaxed and rested, I've slept in and done what I wanted to. Drunk leisurely coffee at my favorite cafe, gone for long walks, spent time with my kids, it been good.

I've written poetry, something I haven't done for some time, painted some great pieces and significantly pushed my art direction up quite a few levels. Not bad for three weeks. However, it's pushed my sensitivity level to everything around me to a much higher level too. The down side to my talent. I know this has been increasing over the past weeks but today it's been particularly bad. All my senses are just taking in far too much, I can't ignore what I usually do and I've become hyper sensitive to my surroundings. Noise annoys the crap out of me as do other people. I'm more sensitive to light and color. I get so over stimulated, I need to be somewhere quiet and dim. I hate being over stimulated. My mind works more quickly and I'm just overwhelmed by the simplest things. Not to mention the other more unusual 'abilities' or 'senses' I sometimes experience, I find myself predicting stuff, knowing what people going to say, and I think I might be picking up on other peoples emotions. It was driving me insane.

Normally, I'm ok with this, I find a way to zone out, I play games on the iPhone, I find walking stops it or if it's later in the day I'll have a drink or two which dulls the affect. (I'd rather do that than take drugs.)

This morning, on the way to the studio from my house in the country, I got stuck on a train packed with over an excited football crowd for the hour + trip. It was horrible. I couldn't zone them out. Fuck my head is still buzzing from it all. This is the shitty side of being creative.

Anyway I ok now, I'm at the studio and it's really quiet. I've got a uni paper to edit that will dull it all down. Tomorrow I'm back at the office, the monotonous, boring office, that will give me some routine back and lower my levels of sensitivity. Other than that, I'm not painting today, I'm just going to do stuff here and maybe go for a walk.

I'm starting to feel human again. The painting and words make it worth it though.