Tonight's Rant

I’ve been a bad mood all day because I’ve had dealings in the Melbourne art scene this week and it’s got to me again. I really try very hard not to let these people make so angry. But they do. Oh God they do.
Why do these art people have to be so unprofessional? Why do they think they have the right to take such a nasty and rude attitude with me? And this was just the admin staff. We create the paintings/art that allow them to have fucking stupid jobs in this industry and without us they would more than likely be working in a supermarket. I really deserve a little more respect and I want to be treated in a professional manner. She was such an vain bitch, it was unbelievable. This lot wouldn’t know professional if it ran over them.

I had dealings with these so called art professionals last year. I had a nightmare meeting with them and it was one of the worst I have ever had to endure. One woman sat doodling on her note pad with a glazed look in her eyes while the other guy gave me a lecture on all the other brilliant artists he could think (most of which were popular and very conservative rather than brilliant) and taking almost zilch notice of my work. He gave me a lecture about correct art storage/transport as apparently I was not transporting my work properly. And finished in a patronizing tone reminding me that even if they decided not to proceed with my work I should always remember I was still an artist. Fucking tool. I was hardly going to be crushed and give up my art practice because of him, what an ego. Most professional artist’s are very used to knock backs, it part of a normal art practice, 20-30 knocks before you get a gig is quite normal even for the talented, it’s the way the system works.

At one point I almost just got up and walked out but I didn’t want to play into their stupid little game so I stuck it out. Worst thing is I have to deal with twats again over the next few months and all their immature ego trips. Honestly, not all art people are this bad, there is professional behaviour in the Melbourne art scene, but still, there are many like this. I’ve know artists who have put in art proposals only to have them returned with comments so unnecessarily horrible, things like being told they have no colour sense, suggestions they need art lessons, all sort of crap, these people just love to crush them. And I know quite a few that have stopped painting because of it. This industry seems to attract a significant number of insecure , immature dickheads, desperate for attention with out of control egos.

Any wonder I love showing my art on the internet. Ok, you don’t get to see work “in the flesh” but when I exhibit in galleries I would only have 200 or so people go through. I get that number and more per day online. Along with such encouraging feedback and support. People are nearly always friendly and not full of shit. The internet has such a vibrant art community.

I’m happy showing my art electronically. I hope the internet can really threaten the bastards, next time I deal with these fucking tools, I will be mentioning the numbers of people viewing of my art online, the global presence I’m part of and all the wonderful feedback I get. What can they offer? Two hundred people, high commissions, gallery charges and a pretentious opening in one city. Hopefully, it will make them feel inadequate. Two can play at this game.

And there ends tonight’s rant, that is much better out than in.

New Assemblage

I've had the line 'One foot in the badlands" stuck in my head for the last few days. When this happens I kind of know it's either a piece of art or a poem struggling to get out.

Today I realised One foot in the badlands is a new assemblage, a style that I've been messing around with for a couple of months and I think it's finally coming together.

I've been mesmerized lately with bill posters. I love the multiple layers of them, their impermanence, and the way they are often ripped or torn in some manner. I walked past a wall that was always covered in these things and someone had attempted to clean it up but not done a very good job of it. What they had left was multiple and ripped layers of bill posts, It looked absolutely amazing and I was so inspired by it. Fucking awesome. Really amazing. So there will be some pasting and then ripping off and pasting again, of copies of selected original pieces. Can't wait....I love ripping up my art...

Further, I've been wanting to photograph drains and metal grates on the street so I think this will be another element of these pieces. These pieces will be exhibited on the floor. This one one has a "base board' but it will be an assemblage of layers of work.

And later, I was walking to the studio from work today and the thought popped into my head,
" why don't you spray paint on these". I got really excited, being lover of graffiti, I think it's going to have to happen. I've wanted to use tinned paint for a while but I could never find the right work to do this on. Guess I can now. I really can't wait.

So this will leave me with 3 styles/directions. The Repetitions, I am wreckage hear me roar series, and these.

This will be an awesome mix and a great new experiment in my art practice. I'm starting this one on Saturday.

Sensitivity

I've had three weeks of my office job so I've been painting pretty much non stop. I've been doing 4 day bouts at the studio in Melbourne and mostly it's been great. I'm relaxed and rested, I've slept in and done what I wanted to. Drunk leisurely coffee at my favorite cafe, gone for long walks, spent time with my kids, it been good.

I've written poetry, something I haven't done for some time, painted some great pieces and significantly pushed my art direction up quite a few levels. Not bad for three weeks. However, it's pushed my sensitivity level to everything around me to a much higher level too. The down side to my talent. I know this has been increasing over the past weeks but today it's been particularly bad. All my senses are just taking in far too much, I can't ignore what I usually do and I've become hyper sensitive to my surroundings. Noise annoys the crap out of me as do other people. I'm more sensitive to light and color. I get so over stimulated, I need to be somewhere quiet and dim. I hate being over stimulated. My mind works more quickly and I'm just overwhelmed by the simplest things. Not to mention the other more unusual 'abilities' or 'senses' I sometimes experience, I find myself predicting stuff, knowing what people going to say, and I think I might be picking up on other peoples emotions. It was driving me insane.

Normally, I'm ok with this, I find a way to zone out, I play games on the iPhone, I find walking stops it or if it's later in the day I'll have a drink or two which dulls the affect. (I'd rather do that than take drugs.)

This morning, on the way to the studio from my house in the country, I got stuck on a train packed with over an excited football crowd for the hour + trip. It was horrible. I couldn't zone them out. Fuck my head is still buzzing from it all. This is the shitty side of being creative.

Anyway I ok now, I'm at the studio and it's really quiet. I've got a uni paper to edit that will dull it all down. Tomorrow I'm back at the office, the monotonous, boring office, that will give me some routine back and lower my levels of sensitivity. Other than that, I'm not painting today, I'm just going to do stuff here and maybe go for a walk.

I'm starting to feel human again. The painting and words make it worth it though.

addicted

I've become addicted to painting & drawing. I've given up my demanding friends in favor of more convenient ones so I can spend more time creating and locking myself away in a studio. I always feel so guilty about this but it's about time I stopped and just do what I want. It's a talent thing, when you can do what I can do, why would I want to do anything else. I need to stop giving myself shit about this.

Endlessness

there is no end
there is only movement
through this
backwards and forwards
there is no finish
only continuity
driven by the heart
propelled by life
jolted by what we desire
all these moments should be loved
from the vulnerable and the lost
to when I run my fingers through your hair
they are all our moments in this endless flow

virtue jo fern
18.4.09 12.4opm

Trashed studio and a hangover

Shit...I am wreckage hear me roar no 6 ... this one really hurt...I'm wiped out , hungover, I couldn't sleep and I needed serious numbing so I drank too much...not a great idea...I need to go home and sleep in my real bed, enough painting for the next few days...This series really takes it out of me...that was only the first paint on No 6...only 4 or5 more to go...don't want to think about it...I'm too tired...

My Iphone is driving me crazy

I went down to Richmond in Melbourne today on the way to the studio, to buy a cheap sofa , I was looking for this particular shop that sold such sofas. I'm not really that familiar with Richmond and I ended up lost.

Bloody I phone! It's has been slowly getting more erratic day by day, won't play music anymore, it's not letting now when I get emails, strange stuff.

So I'm wondering around Richmond and I realise I'm lost. I get it out and type in the address for directions. First it tells me there no service. I'm in inner city Melbourne for fucks sake! I turn it off and on, about 6 more times and suddenly it comes good, service at last. I pump in the address BUT it only downloads the two pin heads, one green and one red and a nice purple line between the two and NOTHING ELSE. no map, no street signs, just a nice grey blank screen.
This is not very helpful!
So I turn it off and on again, and again, etc. No, still just the two pins heads and the nice purple line! AND NOTHING ELSE! it would be ok if I could see two GIANT FUCKING PINS IN THE STREET TO GUIDE ME!!!
I tell you I was standing in Bridge St Richmond Shaking the fuck out the thing. I then took to asking people on the street and no one knew where this address was. I was thinking, just go to the studio, forget it, It's got far too hard!!!
And I looked down and it had downloaded the map! Bloody device!

So the outcome, I have a new, cheap, slightly damaged ( it's a studio sofa!) but very comfortable sofa arriving on Thursday.
The bastard device is going to the I phone hospital sometime this week.